Toddler – The Master Manipulator

It is easy to be angry with my boyfriend, infuriated at a stranger, peeved off with Mother, but I have discovered it is practically impossible to be angry with a toddler. You don’t stand a chance.

Case in point. Mother tells me it is important to let toddler roam about the death trap (house) as he needs his space and it is good for his development. So I do as I’m told and see toddler has ventured into the master boudoir: where the magic used to happen.

As soon as I see him, I notice he has suspicious brown stains all over his forehead. Here we go again I think, before spotting my eyeliner pencil in his chubby little paw. Then, in horror movie slow mo…I turn to my pristine cream (rented) wall and see what looks like the beginning of the Chinese alphabet, in Kohl brown, stopping at about toddler height.

I looked at the wall,

I looked at him.

I looked at the wall,

I looked at him.

Time froze and then… his innocent little eyes welled up and he was bawling. I hadn’t said a word.

He might not know where his nose is yet…but he sure knew that impromptu Banksy style graffiti on the bedroom wall was not the right thing to do.

Then the little boy who has never ever, ever, ever said ‘mummy’ before, suddenly was full of ‘mamma? mamma? mammaaaaaaa?s’ He stood there, in a stretched out baby grow, gathered around his feet, eyeliner on his forehead, his sleeves a bit too long, tears running down his face.

Oh yes, Son. You definitely take after your Mother, master manipulator.

Todder 1, Parent 0.

“It’s ok sweetheart, it’s ok darling, don’t worry…

how about some chocolate milk and ‘The Muppets’?”


Come and find me at my new blog

and my Facebook page Mummy’s Writing, Darling

Twitter : @sivitersteph


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