I am the boob hostage

I am the boob hostage
I have been clamped
it’s been six days now
and I’m forever getting cramp
don’t underestimate my captor
though small
He holds great power
and I’ve been stuck here for fecking hours
his list of demands reads only two
every time I try to escape his siren sounds
He wants me to be near enough to smell
and has the nose of a hound
I’m living in a never ending leech attack Hell
His torture is unique
making me watch hot tea turn cold
or putting cake just out of reach
and sometimes my phone needs charging
but my nipples keep on enlarging
I just want a shower or to wear clothes
instead of being permanently exposed
He has vampiric qualities
an expert at suction
and mamma abduction
He is the hostage taker
the continual night waker
and every day he’s getting stronger
not sure I can cope much longer
You see, my front has been seized by a criminal abductor
with a milky ultimatum
and now I fear I’m getting Stockholm syndrome
quite the dairy based conundrum
His hunger is chronic
and I could murder a Gin and Tonic
please send for help if you get this note
or at least pass me the ruddy remote

Yours,

but mostly his,

the boob hostage  x

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If you like this post please come and find me at my new blog – http://www.mummyswritingdarling.co.uk

and my Facebook page – Mummy’s Writing, Darling

Twitter – @sivitersteph

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