How to survive when people are offended by your blog

No one writes to be offensive; Apart from Katie Hopkins.

But I am here to tell you – no matter how diplomatic / non-ignorant / on the fence / pure of heart you are, one day – if you have put yourself “out there” as they say – you will upset someone. You will touch a nerve, you will use the wrong word, you will write a sentence that (out of context) could start a war!

But don’t worry – you can cope. Just as I have (sort of).

If someone is offended by your blog your day may well roll out like this:

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1. Wake up, your reality seems great. Sun is out. You realise you have Jus-Roll puff pastry and Nutella. You combine the two. Life is amazing. You see,by chance, that a world of hate is occurring regarding little old you on Social media*.

*you have not been racist, sexist, homophobic, fascist or any of the other bad ‘ists’ you know of. If you have, this post isn’t designed for you. Bog off Katie!

2. You have a mini panic attack. Cry.

3. Immediately call first line of defence (mum). She shouts at you that she thought something ‘real‘ was wrong, like something to do with your son or baby on the way. You cry some more.

4. Write a woe is me status on private Facebook. Await a hundred messages that tell you you’re the best human they know and not what they say on social media. Lie on sofa with exhaustion.

5. Receive lovely messages. Realise who your friends are. Appreciate the real people in your life. Cry.

6. Make the mistake of looking into what is now being said about you on social media – cry. Cry, cry, cry some more.

7. Decide you cant hack it. You will leave social media – never blog again. You just can’t bear it and obviously you aren’t cut out for this shit. You will delete all the apps from your phone (now your enemy) and never write again. In fact – you may not be cut out for modern / digital life here, generally. Decide to sell Mac computer and move to mud hut in forest.**

**I do not mean to cause offence to anyone reading from a mud hut in a forest. Or people who don’t use Macs.

8. Talk to more friends. Cry some more. Call second line of defence (fiancé)

9. He is proper, proper pissed off that you’re upset by this and has not the capacity to understand it at all. You decide he’s a proper arse hole. Wedding off. The world is falling apart around you.

10. Give the toddler a bath – read him a story, tuck him in, give him a big kiss. Gosh you are a silly, silly woman. Decide to stop being so ridiculous.

11. Lie in bed remembering every shitty thing you have ever done, in your entire life as the words you wrote once so innocently / excitedly go round and round and round (and round) in your head. This may last a few days.

12. Forget every nice comment, every nice message, every like you have ever had – and only think about the negatives you saw today.

My tips on how to survive:

1. Speak to as many people who know you as possible. As in tangible people. Not just tiny icons on a twitter feed.

2. Remember that you can’t please everyone. Although that has been your only aim since age 3.

3. Know that your intentions were pure / good – and that’s all that matters. You would never ever want to offend anyone with your writing. You have been blogging now for two and a half years – and never once have you meant to upset anyone.

4. While you are human… the people who are offended are human too… so be kind / understand / forgive (after a lengthy rant to mother).

5. Remember that this will all blow over – before you know it! You’re not big news. There are bigger fish to fry than some silly parent blogger who thinks she’s Helen Fielding!

6. Get some tough love. My partner isn’t cute and cuddly. He’s Mr Realistic. And lo he said unto me :

“Well you might as well give it all up then! Cause ITS GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN woman!”

A wise, wise man. Sometimes you need some tough love.

7. Take control back. An amazing friend told me last night that anxiety stems from a feeling of not being in control of a situation – so I am now working on taking back that control. Watch this space.

8. Keep on writing. Don’t give up. Keep on keeping on.

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Love from Stephanie, just a woman, with a silly blog, a toddler and a baby on the way, hormonal, just a human, just a blogger – standing in front of you all, hoping that you love me. Or if not love – like. Or if not like – just not hate.

If you like this post please come and find me at my new blog – http://www.mummyswritingdarling.co.uk

and my Facebook page – Mummy’s Writing, Darling

Twitter – @sivitersteph

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11 thoughts on “How to survive when people are offended by your blog

  1. I’m obviously missing out, or else my blog readers don’t get offended very easily. Even when I write what I think might cause offense to someone, I don’t get rude comments let alone nastiness (and I’ve been going nearly 3 years). I obviously need to be more obvious in the ‘I hate made up names’ rants I do.

    I’m definitely with your OH though – everything blows over and everything comes round again. I think there’s a lot of people who’re way too sensitive to be on social media when things kick off.

    Like

  2. I actually don’t understand how anything you’ve written could be offensive. I’ve read it all. Stand strong my friend! You are funny and sometimes your posts make me laugh so hard I snort. This is embarrassing on the bus but I don’t mind 😊
    big hugs
    Briony xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve totally missed what’s happened,but sod everyone if they don’t like what you have to say don’t read it!
    I think your a real gem 😊 x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve just found your blog and read four of your posts instead of doing other stuff (like cleaning) and I haven’t found anything remotely offensive yet. I read another post yesterday – can’t remember where or who by sadly – about how nasty people are on social media – the anonymity just makes people seem to think it’s o.k. to say horrible stuff as long as they are ‘being honest’. It’s so true and I constantly see people attacking each other in a way which is frankly – not British! I hope you’re o.k. Your blog is my new favourite, I’m going to have to re-jig my MADs nominations just for you so please don’t stop blogging and go and live in a mud hut xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • -aw! Thank you so much. That’s so nice of you. I wish I could explain what was found offensive but it wasn’t on my site – so it’s a delicate situation. I’m looking into getting permission to submit an apology / explanation. I do everything I can not to offend but sometimes things can be read in the wrong way I suppose. Well thank you for your amazing comments. I won’t be giving up… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well you have my sympathy. I wrote a post a fe weeks ago that got a lot of publicity and attracted a lot of negative comments (although many more positive ones) it made me realise I never want to write anything controversial ever again but sometimes it is hard to avoid!

        Like

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